if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
