worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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