Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
