I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
