I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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