Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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