I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
