carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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