Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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