My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
