If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
