she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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