thus making me awesome and them whores
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
