Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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