Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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