you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
