I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
