honey bunches of taint.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
