dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
