She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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