Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
