so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He? As in you personified your dick?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
