Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
