I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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