Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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