you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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