Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
