So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
