dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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