Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
