Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
