the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
