Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
