Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
