I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
