it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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