He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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