spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
