Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
two words...techno handjob
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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