Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
