Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize