i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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