i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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