Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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