i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
