I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
