This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
