wat bout pragnant strippers??
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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