Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
