Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
