Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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