i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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